Why I did not enjoy "Sherlock Holmes"

Something happened a few weeks ago that I truly never thought I would see: Sherlock Holmes was the subject of a big-time Hollywood blockbuster movie.

You see, I’ve been into the Great Detective for pretty much all of my life. I’ve blogged about Holmes and related topics for years. I’ve spent more money than I care to remember on eBay on Sherlock collectibles and books and pipes and comics.

It is precisely my love for the character and the canon that makes me not the target audience for the Robert Downey Jr. version.

I kinda liked the movie, I guess. It was fine. Actually, it was really good in a lot of ways. I loved the visual design, loved the dark and dank vision of London, a city always just on the verge of descending into total feral madness – all while maintaining that patina of sophistication and class.

What I didn’t like was Holmes himself. The Holmes that I have in my head is not sarcastic, he’s not good with women, he’s not buff. He is analytical and single-minded in his focus.

Downey’s Holmes, on the other hand, feels more like Iron Man in Victorian England.

(And that ridiculous plot … my god! I truly believe this story was written using the “thousands of monkeys with typewriters will eventually write something coherent” method. Don’t get me started on the Sumatran rat-sized plot holes in this thing.)

The Holmes that I have in my head, that I will always have in my head, is Jeremy Brett. I implore you, if you have any interest in Holmes at all and have never seen these performances, to acquire the amazing Holmes interpretations starring Jeremy Brett produced by Granada television. A brief sample:

Now, I do want to say that I’m not one of those wierdo purists who insists that nothing unusual be done with his favorite character. After all, the original Basil Rathbone films couldn’t have been more unfaithful to the Doyle texts; liberties get taken with this character just like any other, and if people who had never experienced the joy of the game being afoot had a great time with the Downey film, that makes me happy.

And also, we have one of the all-time great Holmes pastiches playing out right now on prime-time television, in the form of Dr. House.

But for me, it’s all about the Jeremy Brett. As I have said before and will undoubtedly say again, he is Holmes, for me.